failed artist seeks protege to justify existence

formal request forthcoming.

prompting the question

"...do you always scan your lettuce before you eat it?"

the plot thickens

cold bacon artist in residence program

Apply now for your position in the Cold Bacon Artist In Residence Program. Design and create your installations in the Cold Bacon Art Space located just ten minutes from where you’ll be staying. During your stay you’ll enjoy:

Luxurious living space


(chair can be replaced with air mattress if required)

Free internet.


Complimentary mirror.


Minimal indoctrination.



A lot of grass.


(actual yard may vary)

Coffee.


More internet.


All the equipment you will need.



Maximum stay time: 2 weeks.

another long day at the art gallery

a rush to get home...



legit sized video here.

future home of coldbacon super public (v. 1.0)

this is a very special street by the way.*

* The Cold Bacon artist is a reluctant artist. It is someone who has as much or as little talent as any would-be Chelsea artist in Manhattan, but for some reason or another has taken a different path. It is someone who is as likely to spend time alone in a virtual or private world creating works of art never to be seen or enjoyed by the broader audience at large. It is someone capable of greatness, yet living in anonymity. In my ten years of internet travels, I have found such people. I have discovered the most unexpected and truly inspiring talent hidden behind geographical and psychological distances. It is time to use the modern tools now readily at our disposal and bring these talents out from the shadows.

proof of concept

for too much explanation.

and special thanks to David Jameson (Groupboard.com) for helping us with some (very important) technical stuff.

so i changed it

i changed things.

carrie made fun of me

for having a CRT.

i'm going to change it

some day. i will change this template. you bet your ass.

this template really sucks

what the hell was i thinking?

i guess daniel johnston was right

some things do never change.

someone should blog about a recent trend at foxnews

someone at foxnews got the idea it would be cool if camera and stage crews would periodically laugh in the background during taping of shows. it's completely intentional and completely annoying as hell. it started in their late night show red eye, which i have never scene. that was annoying, but not surprising given the nature of the show. but today, i just heard it for the first time ever on both hannity and colmes, and even o'oreilly. apparently, the memo has now made its way to prime time.